Life Goes On

I often wonder why my posts here are so negative. Maybe I am a really negative person, after all. My Rosie seems to think I am. Who knows?

Sometimes, I just can't stand it. I am at that point once again in my life. I am very unhappy, depressed, and suicidal as I get from time to time. I am working too hard, and not making the progress I want to make. It feels to me that life is running out, and I reach end of days.

I need a vacation. I need to drag my scrawny old ass from in front of my computer, and hie off to Indiana and get my Sara fix. Sara, my son's wife, is the light of my life. She is the loveliest girl I have ever known, and treats me with the utmost dignity and respect. I miss her terribly, and need to go see her. She always puts this old Coon in a better mood. Nick will take me on a canoe ride, get me loaded every night, and we will laugh. Perhaps it is what I need. I thought last night as I sat here at midnight, finishing up the day, that it has been a long time since I have heard laughter in this old house...

Work goes well, although it is spotty right now. I am having a hard time staying focused. The weather here is straightening out, and we are getting warm days. The sun shines through my office window this AM, making me warm and helping my mood. Perhaps I am trying too hard. It is a good subject to discuss with my social worker tomorrow when I visit the VA clinic.

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'. Drive on...

Peace,

Charlie~