Life And Times
I struggle with things. Indeedy, I do. I have always had a big thing about routine, and find that the older I get, the more important it becomes to me. A lot of people think I have no life - I work 7 days a week, and often never leave the house for literally days on end. Know what? It suits me...
I have found that routine keeps my shit together. Struggling with PTSD is no easy thing. I am long over the flashbacks and nervous reactions of 2 tours in the Nam, but cannot lose the strong feeling instilled in me by that experience. Nowadays, I only live with constant nightmares, and it has become such a part of my life that at times I struggle with the reality of them. I slept for many, many years with a .44 magnum under my pillow, and had some serious issues with sleepwalking a lot of years ago. Now, if I decide to walk in my sleep, I will surely walk off the roof and plant myself face down in the asphalt. Shit happens...
Now I find myself working for an internet company that pays me well, keeps me busy, and hey! I got beer money! Since working for DIY, I have gone through 3 editors, and am now at a place where I am without one altogether. Lauren, my last editor, flew the coop for something better. We had a decent relationship that I hope continues. She is a nice lady, and the same age as my daughter. Gee! I can relate! But Lauren was savvy, had a great management style, and will be sorely missed. We had great things planned for DIY. Now I gotta train another fuckin' editor...
I have found out that my blood sugar level is higher than it should be, so my doc has decided to shove more meds down my throat. I now spend time agonizing over what my sugar level will be throughout the course of the day, and hate being hassled with this shit. I have spent many years doing all the wrong things, and have self medicated for so long that nothing else ever makes any sense to me. But you end up paying for that lifestyle, and I am a victim of my own debauchery. Like I care.
Rosie does well in her store, but the stress is kicking her ass. She has been having problems with employees, and everyone she hires she thinks "will work out well." The quality of what I have seen begs a different opinion from me, but I let her run her own business, and she lets me run mine.
I have taken up 3D modeling, and am making progress. It is a very exacting thing, and has a steep learning curve. I am now capable of making a half-assed decent scene, and my focus has been on faeries and dragons. Always lived in that world, ya know? Love a fae woman! Rosie thinks I am foolish, and thinks I just want to spend time making naked women beautiful. Exactly...
So ends my New Year's rant for those who give a shit. I find the blog to be a good release for me when the writing gets too ho-hum, and I begin to feel I am making a whore of myself for writing articles on things I could care less about. But the money is good, and what the hell else can an old Coon spend time on?
Peace,
Charlie~
I struggle with things. Indeedy, I do. I have always had a big thing about routine, and find that the older I get, the more important it becomes to me. A lot of people think I have no life - I work 7 days a week, and often never leave the house for literally days on end. Know what? It suits me...
I have found that routine keeps my shit together. Struggling with PTSD is no easy thing. I am long over the flashbacks and nervous reactions of 2 tours in the Nam, but cannot lose the strong feeling instilled in me by that experience. Nowadays, I only live with constant nightmares, and it has become such a part of my life that at times I struggle with the reality of them. I slept for many, many years with a .44 magnum under my pillow, and had some serious issues with sleepwalking a lot of years ago. Now, if I decide to walk in my sleep, I will surely walk off the roof and plant myself face down in the asphalt. Shit happens...
Now I find myself working for an internet company that pays me well, keeps me busy, and hey! I got beer money! Since working for DIY, I have gone through 3 editors, and am now at a place where I am without one altogether. Lauren, my last editor, flew the coop for something better. We had a decent relationship that I hope continues. She is a nice lady, and the same age as my daughter. Gee! I can relate! But Lauren was savvy, had a great management style, and will be sorely missed. We had great things planned for DIY. Now I gotta train another fuckin' editor...
I have found out that my blood sugar level is higher than it should be, so my doc has decided to shove more meds down my throat. I now spend time agonizing over what my sugar level will be throughout the course of the day, and hate being hassled with this shit. I have spent many years doing all the wrong things, and have self medicated for so long that nothing else ever makes any sense to me. But you end up paying for that lifestyle, and I am a victim of my own debauchery. Like I care.
Rosie does well in her store, but the stress is kicking her ass. She has been having problems with employees, and everyone she hires she thinks "will work out well." The quality of what I have seen begs a different opinion from me, but I let her run her own business, and she lets me run mine.
I have taken up 3D modeling, and am making progress. It is a very exacting thing, and has a steep learning curve. I am now capable of making a half-assed decent scene, and my focus has been on faeries and dragons. Always lived in that world, ya know? Love a fae woman! Rosie thinks I am foolish, and thinks I just want to spend time making naked women beautiful. Exactly...
So ends my New Year's rant for those who give a shit. I find the blog to be a good release for me when the writing gets too ho-hum, and I begin to feel I am making a whore of myself for writing articles on things I could care less about. But the money is good, and what the hell else can an old Coon spend time on?
Peace,
Charlie~
posted by Charlie Allnut | 6:34 AM
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