A Hint Of Spring

I'm finally seeing a bit of warmth, and let me tell ya, it is kind to these old bones. Today is the first day I have been able to open the window in my studio, and it is great to clear a little of the smoke fumes outta here. Jesus, it is a wonder I have a lung left! I've been a 3 pack a day smoker for so many years that I would prolly OD if I quit. Did that once. It sucked.

My skills in 3D are growing, and I have vtc.com to thank for it. I just don't have the time to learn on my own, even though it is the way I love to learn. I have advanced and been certified through Bryce and Poser, and am now working my way through Lightwave, which is a really tits app. I have all this knowledge now, and I am struggling how to put it to use. I surely don't want to do nothing but glam and pin-up models, because it grows old in a hurry. If I were some kinda pervy, I suppose I would continue in that direction. What really interests me in that direction is making props and clothing for that market, because it is huge. I got into 3D not only for an outlet, but because I see a market, and this is the year I diversify. I love to write, and it pays the bills, but it is an uncertain market, especially now that I no longer have LB for an editor. The peckerhead I have currently doesn't even acknowledge my article submissions, so I haven't a clue as to whether he has received them or not. LB tells me he has a bit of an ego, and I am betting he has short people's disease. Never met the dude, but can imagine.

Anyhoo, I continue to keep on keepin' on. This weather has me almost manic, and my good mood has gone from zero to 60 in a heartbeat. Alas, it is Michigan, and only the ides of March. We are not done with this shit yet. I am of course up and down also from the damnable time change, which screws with my biological clock every year. But I can tell the weather is turning. I am wanting to be outside, and thought about walking down to the White Rose (the kids call it the White Nose - can ya guess why?) and have me a cold Heineken's. I think I could manage to toddle three doors down...

Little Bit goes to the vets tomorrow for her first series of ongoing shots. She is so damn funny. I have a huge tabby named BK, and they have bonded. Funniest thing you ever saw. Here is this little pup that weighs all of three pounds attacking a cat that has to weigh 12 pounds if she weighs an ounce, is 4 times her size, and putting up with Little Bit's shit. So funny...

Drive on,

Charlie~

Livin' In a 3D World

I have taken an interest in 3D, and find very quickly that the mechanics are tough, and end results are sometimes - sometimes - worth while. I have been taking classes on VTC.com, studying Bryce, Poser, and Lightwave, and find it has enough challenge to suit me. If it has no challenge, then fuck it, ain't worth my time. It is that way with everything in my life, and I wish it so.

Now, I find that many people that work in 3D are a bunch of fuckin' perverts. You oughtha see some of the work out there by hobbyists. You see a beautiful, scantily clad woman with the face of a 5 year old, and a body like Carol Doda (gotcha!), right down to the Brazilian wax job. Pierced pussy, anyone?

It sucks, ya know. You gotta be a real voyeur to look at some of this stuff. A lot of it is amazingly good, and a lot of it just shows T&A. Which does little for a 64 year old that takes too much blood pressure medicine. Know what I mean? But I find meaningful work in Bryce doing scenery, and am getting there, methinks. Nothing award winning yet, but I have come far since the first of the year. Hey! Even know what a Z axis is now!

So it goes. I think that working in 3D helps feed a lot of these losers' fantasies of the woman they would like and can't have. Working with morphs and magnets in 3D is interesting work, but ya only end up with a chick with big tits and the longest legs a woman could ever have. So, I will concentrate on inorganic things, thank you very much...

Little Bit is growing - you can see it in her every day. She is so much fun, and I laugh at her all the time with her antics. She hasn't a name yet, but she is getting close to earning one. Finally broke down and bought some batteries for the digital, so I can display a few images of her online on one blog or another. Puppy pix are soooo cute.

Sara continues to struggle. Hope she is not taking writing next semester. I hate to say it, but some things this girl is clueless about. Her hubby Nick says she spends too much time sitting around being pretty. I rather agree. She is a sight to see, but with beauty must come intelligence, so all is naught. Too bad, so sad. She has other very redeeming values, so not to worry.

Duty calls. Need to write. I'm a bit behind with the new addition in the house. She is beginning to settle in, though, and is picking up my routines. Good - or bad?

Drive on,

Charlie~

:D

End Of Days...

I have often thought that there are a hell of a lot more years behind me than what are ahead of me. Winter always brings that home. I abhor winter, and if not for the store here, would prefer to live in a much warmer clime. Arkansas, maybe. And then I turn on the evening news and see how many have died during the worst tornado in 75 years there yesterday. WTF?

If I have learned nothing else, it is "be careful what you wish for." I have never had high material needs. I don't agonize over a new Beemer, luxury home with two swimming pools, or designer clothes in a huge walk in closet. Sec. Butz put it quite eloquently at one point in time - "all I need is tight pussy, loose shoes, and a warm place to shit." He must have had me - not the colored folks - in mind when he wrote that. 'Course it got him fired - no PC here!

Regardless, I want and need little. My high expectations right now is for some new underwear that the elastic isn't all stretched out in. Maybe some new socks - I am obsessed by socks since the Nam.

So, I reach end of days. I know that, and am ready, but filled with a great sense of urgency because there is too much left undone. I take on new projects and try to learn new things to keep the old brain active. I don't read like I used to because of glaucoma and cataracts, but do a lot of things in 3D and video. It is a reasonable accommodation for an old guy, wouldn't you think? My work goes well, but slow due to the winter doldrums, and life in general isn't half assed bad.

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'

Charlie~

Life And Times

I struggle with things. Indeedy, I do. I have always had a big thing about routine, and find that the older I get, the more important it becomes to me. A lot of people think I have no life - I work 7 days a week, and often never leave the house for literally days on end. Know what? It suits me...

I have found that routine keeps my shit together. Struggling with PTSD is no easy thing. I am long over the flashbacks and nervous reactions of 2 tours in the Nam, but cannot lose the strong feeling instilled in me by that experience. Nowadays, I only live with constant nightmares, and it has become such a part of my life that at times I struggle with the reality of them. I slept for many, many years with a .44 magnum under my pillow, and had some serious issues with sleepwalking a lot of years ago. Now, if I decide to walk in my sleep, I will surely walk off the roof and plant myself face down in the asphalt. Shit happens...

Now I find myself working for an internet company that pays me well, keeps me busy, and hey! I got beer money! Since working for DIY, I have gone through 3 editors, and am now at a place where I am without one altogether. Lauren, my last editor, flew the coop for something better. We had a decent relationship that I hope continues. She is a nice lady, and the same age as my daughter. Gee! I can relate! But Lauren was savvy, had a great management style, and will be sorely missed. We had great things planned for DIY. Now I gotta train another fuckin' editor...

I have found out that my blood sugar level is higher than it should be, so my doc has decided to shove more meds down my throat. I now spend time agonizing over what my sugar level will be throughout the course of the day, and hate being hassled with this shit. I have spent many years doing all the wrong things, and have self medicated for so long that nothing else ever makes any sense to me. But you end up paying for that lifestyle, and I am a victim of my own debauchery. Like I care.

Rosie does well in her store, but the stress is kicking her ass. She has been having problems with employees, and everyone she hires she thinks "will work out well." The quality of what I have seen begs a different opinion from me, but I let her run her own business, and she lets me run mine.

I have taken up 3D modeling, and am making progress. It is a very exacting thing, and has a steep learning curve. I am now capable of making a half-assed decent scene, and my focus has been on faeries and dragons. Always lived in that world, ya know? Love a fae woman! Rosie thinks I am foolish, and thinks I just want to spend time making naked women beautiful. Exactly...

So ends my New Year's rant for those who give a shit. I find the blog to be a good release for me when the writing gets too ho-hum, and I begin to feel I am making a whore of myself for writing articles on things I could care less about. But the money is good, and what the hell else can an old Coon spend time on?

Peace,

Charlie~