A Day At The VA

Had to go to the VA today for an eye appointment. I have been battling glaucoma for several years now, and it has been giving me major problems lately. I bought a new 22" monitor, but it is so bright it seems to compound the issue. So Rosie took me down today to have yet another eye exam. The news wasn't good, but the doctor held out a crumb of hope to me, saying it is still treatable.

I had to wait a bit for the doc to check the pressure in my left eye, so I went down to the lobby and sat. I couldn't see well, but the people around me gave me pause. Here, a vet in a wheelchair, one leg gone, rail thin, nervous as a whore in church, wearing sunglasses and a face mask. There, a black man with very elegant grey hair, rolled into tight curls around his head. He walked with a cane, looked like he hadn't had a decent meal in a month and was poorly dressed. People around me - the dross of our great society, doing the Thorazine shuffle all around the lobby. I was more than a bit moved, and almost broke down over their plight.

So sitting there, I realized how thankful I am. And the beat goes on...

I am thankful I can still walk unaided, even though I am a bit unsteady on my feet. blame the meds.
I am thankful I can still see, although poorly. I can still work, and still drive, and don't have to depend on the shuttle to get me to the VA Center.
I am thankful for my wife, who is my tower of strength. She does her best to understand me, even though I know how tough that may be.
I am thankful for a decent car and enough money in my pocket to get me to the Center, even though gas today was $3.26 a gallon.
I am thankful for a lovely old loft to live in, and even though the view sucks, i have no commute.
I am thankful for my little weasel dog, who is so much company and gives me unconditional love.
And I am thankful for family and friends, near and far. I may not see them or hear from them like I wish, but they are there, and, hopefully thinking of me once in a while.
I am thankful for meaningful work, even though it gets very boring at times. I am paid very well for what I do, and I can live comfortably. All this for an old man who only needs money for booze and smokes.

Life has been kind to me, even though I wonder if I am deserving. I need to be more thankful, and thankful that it is not me doing the Thorazine shuffle at the VA...

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'

Charlie~

A Day In The Life

I am feeling both guilty and yet strangely exuberant today, for I am taking a well deserved day off and enjoying life as one should. I admit that I am a workaholic, and that it gets in the way of family and friends, and the simple things in life. My guitar hero, SRV, said in his song "Tightrope" that "the simple things in life bring the greatest pleasure" and even though I subscribe to that theory, I find myself mired in work and the learning process. It makes me a rather boring old fool.

Little Bit is growing fast, and is a joy to an old man who gets lonely a lot. Here is a pix of my two best girls.




We have named her Louisea, after her mommy, Abigail Louise, and she quickly earned the nickname Weezy. She is the funniest little dog I have ever had. I find myself going full circle, from owning German Shepherds as a youth to now owning this cute little German wiener. The more things change, the more they remain the same, and all that shit. I went to the pet store last night on my never-ending search for the right computer desk, and bought her a stuffie that is as long as she is, with a squeaker in both ends. My day is filled with this "squeak, squeak, squeak" but it tells me she is happy and playful. Rosie is off Good Will hunting, and I am left to my devices today. I have a bit of a head, so I said fuck it, today I goof off. I am glad that I am doing so, because I am getting a bit fucked up with all this work and no play. Makes Charlie Coon a dull boy, and all that happy crappy.

I think spring may be here, or at least the days are getting better. I sat on the deck with the pup and had coffee this morning, and it was so refreshing I felt almost human. I suffer badly from SAD, and this day is a welcome relief from the gloom and doom of winter. Methinks I shall sit out later, have a cold Heineken's, and take a little nap. There is really nothing else I would rather do...

Drive on,

Charlie~

:D