Coffee Mornings, Whiskey Nights

A long time ago, I wrote a poem (yah, I know, I'm a fuckin' poet, too) for a good friend that struggled with poetry and art work. She had talent, but her poetry was limited by her knowledge of the English language and her education. I have a very zen painting she did for me on an old piece of barn wood here in my office.

The poem was "Coffee Mornings, Cocaine Afternoons." It was pretty damn good, and has been published in a few places. It hearkened back to my days of dancing with the white lady, and was filled with bittersweet memories and rage at the machine.

Now I find it is coffee mornings and whiskey nights. I suppose my shrink would love to play with that one - trading one addiction for another. That is what we, as lowly human beings, do. My Rosie laughs at me when I tell her that dogs are smarter than we are. Ever see a dog with a hangover, or Jonesing for that next big fat line? Doubt it...

I grow older. I feel the effects of aging on my poor old bod every day. But with age comes wisdom, or so I am told. so I sit here, high in the tower of the Beechler building, and write away.

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'

Drive on...

Charlie~

Life Goes On

I often wonder why my posts here are so negative. Maybe I am a really negative person, after all. My Rosie seems to think I am. Who knows?

Sometimes, I just can't stand it. I am at that point once again in my life. I am very unhappy, depressed, and suicidal as I get from time to time. I am working too hard, and not making the progress I want to make. It feels to me that life is running out, and I reach end of days.

I need a vacation. I need to drag my scrawny old ass from in front of my computer, and hie off to Indiana and get my Sara fix. Sara, my son's wife, is the light of my life. She is the loveliest girl I have ever known, and treats me with the utmost dignity and respect. I miss her terribly, and need to go see her. She always puts this old Coon in a better mood. Nick will take me on a canoe ride, get me loaded every night, and we will laugh. Perhaps it is what I need. I thought last night as I sat here at midnight, finishing up the day, that it has been a long time since I have heard laughter in this old house...

Work goes well, although it is spotty right now. I am having a hard time staying focused. The weather here is straightening out, and we are getting warm days. The sun shines through my office window this AM, making me warm and helping my mood. Perhaps I am trying too hard. It is a good subject to discuss with my social worker tomorrow when I visit the VA clinic.

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'. Drive on...

Peace,

Charlie~