Life in general sucks...

I sit here tonight, approximately 2:30 AM, sitting in my wherewithall, and feeling a bit sorry for myself.

I am loaded on morphine,xanax, darvon, and have pumped a half dozen Molson Canadians into my system, yet feel nothing. I think what I feel is a great sense of loss...

I am a guy that at one time ran a 4.18 mile, was an accomplished martial artist, a great author, and full of life. I have always lived in the fast lane,and would not change that for anything in the world. And now I find myself just a sick old man...

I have some kind of blood infection, which gives me inflammatory arthritis in my feet, of all places. I cannot walk cannot sleep, and am contemplating doing a swan dive off the three story building I own and live in.

I am a victim of the system. I have no medical insurance right now, and cannot afford the meds or health care I drastically need to survive. The drugs I have ingested tonight came from the street. I have pot to help relieve the pressure in my glaucomic eyes, and the morphine came for a street sister, who happens to care about me. Other wise, I would be writing in pain.

I am sure a lot of you are saying who gives a fuck, but my point is that so many Americans my age are without medication we so direly need at this point in our lives. A call to the VA tolds me today that they cannot for some reason serve me because they cannot verify service, and I was given a host of numbers, to call and seek help. It is not forthcoming.

What is it to be. Genocide for all of us poor old fuckers with some health issues and no money? Is there any compassion in this world and this current administration for the likes of us old coots that willing served our country in an unholy war? Appears not...

Fuck it, don't mean nothin' Drive on...

Charlie~

Enron's Lay Dies Of Heart Attack

Last night, sitting on the roof with my Rosie, she told me she must have bad Karma. She has been through a lot of stress lately, and is feeling depressed.

There has been no reason for this that I am aware of - although men have a tendency to be clueless. The B&M is doing well, profits increase, and we are moving forward. We are getting settled into our home, and shit is beginning to disappear. It needed doing. So, I am thinking that she has to have a reason for this depression, and the feelings of "bad Karma."

Karma, my dear friends, is cause and effect. I know this is a hard theory to understand, but it is pretty simple. If you do good in this world, take care of your people and loved ones, and strive to treat all with compassion, then your karma is gonna be good. The Buddha expounds that if you cannot treat all you come in contact with with compassion, then at least cause them no harm. Wisdom to live by, methinks.

Ken Lay is gone. He is the victim of his own Karma. I need to say no more...

Peace,

Charlie~