Ah, Spring!

It is that time of year that is both tantalizing and teasing. One day sun, the next snow, as if Mother can't make up her mind what she wants to do. (Just like a woman, for all you fems out there!) I have the window open right now at 11 PM, and though it is cool I am enjoying the freshness of the slight breeze. Beats hell out of stale cigarette smoke, ya know?

Got news from my ex about another bro biting the dust. I swear to Christ, I will outlive everybody. Steve was a great guy, and we did a lot of partying together when I was going to high school. Steve and family lived up the road from us, and his brothers and I have been fast friends for years. I was ashamed when I found out after he had been planted. i would have gone to his funeral, fer shure.

My back is kicking my ass again, and a lot of it has to do with my slowly failing eyesight. I just bout a new 22" monitor so that I could see things better, but still find myself leaning in on a lot of things. of course, Uncle doesn't feel I need eye surgery yet. Guess I have to go completely blind before the fucker does anything about my shit. I have lost almost all vision in my left eye due to cataracts, and when I close my right eye, it is like looking through an eyeful of Vaseline. Not a pretty sight. Have to expect it, I suppose - my mom and brother have the same shit, and up to the day mom died, she prolly had better vision than most people her age. Glaucoma is insidious, and it can be a real pain in the ass. Tonight we went to Big Boy for huge 1/2 pound burgers, and when I got out of the pickup, I turned to close the door and banged my head on the window. Think I embarrassed a few of the folks standing around with my vocal reaction. Oh, well...

It is getting time to make my annual trip to Anderson. Once the wx gets better, I shall hie my scrawny old ass down there and spend a week or two with my little princess. I truly miss this lovely young lady, and am blessed to have her in my life. Everyone should be so lucky...

Drive on,

Charlie~

:D

The More Things Change...

I sit here of a Saturday morn, wondering what the hell it must all be worth. Truth is, I am very lonely right now, missing my kids, especially my sweet Sara, and have no real plans to see them soon. Christmas is coming - Oh, GEE! Can I hardly wait, or what? Every fucking year it gets worse. Now it is in such a material mess that I am seeing Christmas decorations on (or before) Halloween. WTF? In front of our apartment, the city has kindly decorated the scraggly little tree that resides there with lights, and decorations are all over town. Makes me wanna puke...

So I am sitting here today with a cold Heineken draft, and feeling sorry for myself, I guess. I am severely depressed due to the weather, and I think all I truly need is a little sunshine on my soul to make shit right. My editor suggests a high intensity light, my Rosie wants me to go to the tanning place. The old Coon wants to just hie himself off to SoCal and be done with it. I want to lie on Mission Beach with a big jug of Gallo and watch the pretty girls in their tiny bikini's stroll the beach, and watch the boys trying to impress them. I want to join in on the evening bonfires - if they still have them - and drink myself silly. Instead, I have to sit here and cruise on the latest concoction of drugs my shrink gives me to insure I am a good little boy. The guy is a sick fucker, ya know? Never trust a raghead...

It is really bad this year. A lot of it stems from my choice of work. I write daily for DIY, and it pays me pretty damn well, thank you very much. My editor, a girl the age of my daughter, shows a bit of concern now and then for the state of my mental health, for which I am thankful. Thanks, Lauren. But it all comes down to the final analysis, doesn't it? I am unhappy, lonely, and all I do is sit here and bitch about it. My own fault, si? I wish that the old Harley was still sitting in the garage, for I would throw a leg over, and head for sunny climes. But the old beast has been gone for a number of years, and I miss her greatly. It never gets out of your soul. So the best I can do is just say fuck it, don't mean nothing. Drive on...

Charlie~