The Road Warrior

The old Coon is taking it to the streets tomorrow on a much needed trip to Indiana to stay with Nick and Sara for a long while. I need to be sure Sara is eating properly and taking care of my new grandpuppy. I will use any excuse to go down there, because shit man! they have fuckin' grass! Not in very big supply around the Beechler building, ya know. I got one straggly tree out front that the city won't even water when it is hot outside and we are in drought conditions like last summer. What a bunch of fuckin' asshats they are. They watered the little pots of annuals they have setting around, but don't worry about the fuckin' infrastructure, fer Christ's sake!

I was saddened last week by the passing of George Carlin, my hero for many years. He, along with Tim Russert, will be sorely missed in the Coon household. I would have liked to have been there when that irreverent old fuck passed. i bet he went with a huge smile on his face. Gone, but not forgotten...

I am fighting with the VA on meds, and I ain't happy. I have gone back three years on my allergies because that dickweed who thinks he is a shrink is so anal on my meds that I am not allowed pain meds. I went through a biopsy on my head without any pain medication. Try that some time. They cut a three inch artery out of my noggin and when the local wore off, I was in a world of shit, with no pain meds but a trip to Players for a couple of shots of Seagrams and beer backs. I tottered home and lay down, and suffered greatly for over a week. When I bitched to him at my next appt, the asshole wanted to prescribe me morphine of all things. Here is a guy that is so fucked up that he wants to prescribe a recovering junkie morphine so that there is no interference with his meds regimen for me. WTF??? What am I missing here?

Shit happens, I guess. I need to get on their shit when I get back to the homestead. Til then---

Fuck it, don't mean nothing..

Drive on

Charlie~

Shit Happens...

What a shit week this has been! Monday, I made an 80 mile trip to Ann Arbor for an eye exam, and they felt I needed to get a biopsy done on my temple because of acute pain there. I had been out of one of my scripts for eye drops, and it is a bitch getting this resolved. Anyone who has ever had to deal with the VA knows what a pain in the ass that is!

So off I go this AM at 5 o'clock, barely able to function and with no where near enough coffee in me, and land in Ann Arbor at 7 AM. One of the really good things about the Va is the lack of wait, and I was in the chair by 7:15. And sat there until 9:30, getting injected, infected, and just generally fucked with. They took a 2 cm length of artery out of my temple, and want to do some lab work to find out why my head hurts, and why my eyesight is going to hell so fast. They sliced and diced away at me till I was ready to dot a few eyes of my own. The only redeeming feature was the cute little Chinese doctor, all of 90 pounds, who did the surgery. I love the Chinese more than any other race of people, and that was one interlude that got me by.

So here I sit, in a shitload of pain, and can't take anything for it. Methinks a fifth of Captain's is in order, a sit down to watch my favorite show, Moonlight, and a huge, huge pity party. God, I am such a wimp when it comes to unnecessary pain! And like I said, shit happens...

Drive on,

Charlie, The Wimp

A Day At The VA

Had to go to the VA today for an eye appointment. I have been battling glaucoma for several years now, and it has been giving me major problems lately. I bought a new 22" monitor, but it is so bright it seems to compound the issue. So Rosie took me down today to have yet another eye exam. The news wasn't good, but the doctor held out a crumb of hope to me, saying it is still treatable.

I had to wait a bit for the doc to check the pressure in my left eye, so I went down to the lobby and sat. I couldn't see well, but the people around me gave me pause. Here, a vet in a wheelchair, one leg gone, rail thin, nervous as a whore in church, wearing sunglasses and a face mask. There, a black man with very elegant grey hair, rolled into tight curls around his head. He walked with a cane, looked like he hadn't had a decent meal in a month and was poorly dressed. People around me - the dross of our great society, doing the Thorazine shuffle all around the lobby. I was more than a bit moved, and almost broke down over their plight.

So sitting there, I realized how thankful I am. And the beat goes on...

I am thankful I can still walk unaided, even though I am a bit unsteady on my feet. blame the meds.
I am thankful I can still see, although poorly. I can still work, and still drive, and don't have to depend on the shuttle to get me to the VA Center.
I am thankful for my wife, who is my tower of strength. She does her best to understand me, even though I know how tough that may be.
I am thankful for a decent car and enough money in my pocket to get me to the Center, even though gas today was $3.26 a gallon.
I am thankful for a lovely old loft to live in, and even though the view sucks, i have no commute.
I am thankful for my little weasel dog, who is so much company and gives me unconditional love.
And I am thankful for family and friends, near and far. I may not see them or hear from them like I wish, but they are there, and, hopefully thinking of me once in a while.
I am thankful for meaningful work, even though it gets very boring at times. I am paid very well for what I do, and I can live comfortably. All this for an old man who only needs money for booze and smokes.

Life has been kind to me, even though I wonder if I am deserving. I need to be more thankful, and thankful that it is not me doing the Thorazine shuffle at the VA...

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'

Charlie~

A Day In The Life

I am feeling both guilty and yet strangely exuberant today, for I am taking a well deserved day off and enjoying life as one should. I admit that I am a workaholic, and that it gets in the way of family and friends, and the simple things in life. My guitar hero, SRV, said in his song "Tightrope" that "the simple things in life bring the greatest pleasure" and even though I subscribe to that theory, I find myself mired in work and the learning process. It makes me a rather boring old fool.

Little Bit is growing fast, and is a joy to an old man who gets lonely a lot. Here is a pix of my two best girls.




We have named her Louisea, after her mommy, Abigail Louise, and she quickly earned the nickname Weezy. She is the funniest little dog I have ever had. I find myself going full circle, from owning German Shepherds as a youth to now owning this cute little German wiener. The more things change, the more they remain the same, and all that shit. I went to the pet store last night on my never-ending search for the right computer desk, and bought her a stuffie that is as long as she is, with a squeaker in both ends. My day is filled with this "squeak, squeak, squeak" but it tells me she is happy and playful. Rosie is off Good Will hunting, and I am left to my devices today. I have a bit of a head, so I said fuck it, today I goof off. I am glad that I am doing so, because I am getting a bit fucked up with all this work and no play. Makes Charlie Coon a dull boy, and all that happy crappy.

I think spring may be here, or at least the days are getting better. I sat on the deck with the pup and had coffee this morning, and it was so refreshing I felt almost human. I suffer badly from SAD, and this day is a welcome relief from the gloom and doom of winter. Methinks I shall sit out later, have a cold Heineken's, and take a little nap. There is really nothing else I would rather do...

Drive on,

Charlie~

:D

Ah, Spring!

It is that time of year that is both tantalizing and teasing. One day sun, the next snow, as if Mother can't make up her mind what she wants to do. (Just like a woman, for all you fems out there!) I have the window open right now at 11 PM, and though it is cool I am enjoying the freshness of the slight breeze. Beats hell out of stale cigarette smoke, ya know?

Got news from my ex about another bro biting the dust. I swear to Christ, I will outlive everybody. Steve was a great guy, and we did a lot of partying together when I was going to high school. Steve and family lived up the road from us, and his brothers and I have been fast friends for years. I was ashamed when I found out after he had been planted. i would have gone to his funeral, fer shure.

My back is kicking my ass again, and a lot of it has to do with my slowly failing eyesight. I just bout a new 22" monitor so that I could see things better, but still find myself leaning in on a lot of things. of course, Uncle doesn't feel I need eye surgery yet. Guess I have to go completely blind before the fucker does anything about my shit. I have lost almost all vision in my left eye due to cataracts, and when I close my right eye, it is like looking through an eyeful of Vaseline. Not a pretty sight. Have to expect it, I suppose - my mom and brother have the same shit, and up to the day mom died, she prolly had better vision than most people her age. Glaucoma is insidious, and it can be a real pain in the ass. Tonight we went to Big Boy for huge 1/2 pound burgers, and when I got out of the pickup, I turned to close the door and banged my head on the window. Think I embarrassed a few of the folks standing around with my vocal reaction. Oh, well...

It is getting time to make my annual trip to Anderson. Once the wx gets better, I shall hie my scrawny old ass down there and spend a week or two with my little princess. I truly miss this lovely young lady, and am blessed to have her in my life. Everyone should be so lucky...

Drive on,

Charlie~

:D

I Wish I Could Choose My Relatives

Here it is, the end of March, and the old fucking refrain about "in like a lamb, out like a lion" currently holds true. I walked down to get some smokes and booze a bit ago, and it was half rain, half snow. temp at 32 degrees, and it just can't make up its mind what the fuck it is gonna do. Don't think it gives a shit...

This time of year puts me in deep depression, and I struggle. Man, I wish to fuck my shit was real! I have been spending time lately looking back over my life, and the little things I have done, and am not happy with a lot of it. It is petty shit, like how we used to tease Roger A. in school. He was tall and skinny, and gained the name "Rouge" which was a really comical thing at the time. I remember going to a history class, though, and driving poor old Roger along with the rest, and seeing him blow, slamming his clipboard on a railing so hard that he broke it in two. I thought it very funny then, and now I am ashamed for being so cruel.

I thought about Julie Slone, my first real love. She was an identical twin and in my sisters class. Her twin was named Jolene, and Julienne was the fairest girl a man could ever come across. My sister introduced us, and as a naive school kid, fell for her instantly. She was a southern girl, with a father to match. This redneck fucker would not allow anyone within ten miles of his daughters, and I suppose that had merit. So, we snuck around.

I met Julie at a basketball game one winter's eve, and we sat together at the game, and were very much in love, as young love goes. I can see her shining face to this day - big beautiful blue eyes, long blond hair tied back in a pony tail popular at the time, and a blue ribbon to tie it with. Her sister, Jolene, sat with us, with the same eerily beautiful good looks, and a pink ribbon on her hair to tell the two apart. It was one of those "moments" ya know? Time stands still, you only have eyes for one another, and being in love is the most important thing in your life. I honestly say that this is the first woman I have ever loved. I took her most of the way home, made out with her in the back seat of a '49 Chevy, and had the opportunity to feel her up a bit. She was sweet sixteen, and a well developed, beautiful girl.

Life got in the way. Her father, may he rot in hell, found out about the relationship, and that was the end. Julie was grounded, and I had to sneak around to see her week by week when her friends could hook us up. I remember walking through snow asshole deep to a 10 foot Indian just to spend minutes with her at a pond where a good friend and her were ice skating. I had no winter coat, no boots, and subsisted on love springs eternal. We kissed, and wished for the future. The future, of course, was never to come...

To this day, some 48 years later, I think of Julie. It isn't an everyday thing any more. But the thoughts never cease. I see wintry blue eyes, a crooked smile, and the most beautiful girl I have ever had the opportunity to know. By now, she is probably fat, has a dozen kids, and probably doesn't remember my fucking name. But it is there for me, and it is a memory that lingers.

A good friend once told me that memories are what makes a life. For the Roger's and Julie's of the world, I salute you. I tip a glass of good Canadian Whiskey to those that have shaped my life - good or bad.

Fuck it, don't mean nothin'...

Drive on

Charlie~

A Hint Of Spring

I'm finally seeing a bit of warmth, and let me tell ya, it is kind to these old bones. Today is the first day I have been able to open the window in my studio, and it is great to clear a little of the smoke fumes outta here. Jesus, it is a wonder I have a lung left! I've been a 3 pack a day smoker for so many years that I would prolly OD if I quit. Did that once. It sucked.

My skills in 3D are growing, and I have vtc.com to thank for it. I just don't have the time to learn on my own, even though it is the way I love to learn. I have advanced and been certified through Bryce and Poser, and am now working my way through Lightwave, which is a really tits app. I have all this knowledge now, and I am struggling how to put it to use. I surely don't want to do nothing but glam and pin-up models, because it grows old in a hurry. If I were some kinda pervy, I suppose I would continue in that direction. What really interests me in that direction is making props and clothing for that market, because it is huge. I got into 3D not only for an outlet, but because I see a market, and this is the year I diversify. I love to write, and it pays the bills, but it is an uncertain market, especially now that I no longer have LB for an editor. The peckerhead I have currently doesn't even acknowledge my article submissions, so I haven't a clue as to whether he has received them or not. LB tells me he has a bit of an ego, and I am betting he has short people's disease. Never met the dude, but can imagine.

Anyhoo, I continue to keep on keepin' on. This weather has me almost manic, and my good mood has gone from zero to 60 in a heartbeat. Alas, it is Michigan, and only the ides of March. We are not done with this shit yet. I am of course up and down also from the damnable time change, which screws with my biological clock every year. But I can tell the weather is turning. I am wanting to be outside, and thought about walking down to the White Rose (the kids call it the White Nose - can ya guess why?) and have me a cold Heineken's. I think I could manage to toddle three doors down...

Little Bit goes to the vets tomorrow for her first series of ongoing shots. She is so damn funny. I have a huge tabby named BK, and they have bonded. Funniest thing you ever saw. Here is this little pup that weighs all of three pounds attacking a cat that has to weigh 12 pounds if she weighs an ounce, is 4 times her size, and putting up with Little Bit's shit. So funny...

Drive on,

Charlie~